What Trauma Bonds Are:
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Emotional Bonds that form in Abusive Relationships between an Abuser and their victim(s).
These emotional attatchments form in between a
victim of abuse and their abuser through cycles
of INTERMITTENT REINFORCEMENT, REWARDS,
and PUNISHMENTS. They can happen in platonic, romantic, family, work, and communal relationships, as well as hostage situations, human trafficking, and
within cults.
What Trauma Bonds Aren't:
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Bonds formed through shared trauma.
Trauma bonds are not bonds that form as a result of shared experiences of trauma, like in friendships, or support groups. While trauma bonding can occur in friendships, sharing about trauma in positive, safe, & healthy attachments is not indicative of a trauma bond.
How Trauma Bonds Are Formed
TRAUMA BONDS usually form due to cyclical cycles of abuse, where lovebombing, manipulation, criticism, gaslighting, abuse & intermittent reinforcement erode a victim's sense of self over time and create addictive emotional ties to the abuser.
These ties make it hard for a victim to leave the relationship and are often why some victims even return.
The Role of Intermittent Reinforcement
Here are some signs you might be experiencing a trauma bond.
Signs you might have a Trauma Bond
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You think about your abuser constantly
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You find yourself justifying their behavior or making excuses for them
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You feel like you constantly want to please them even at your own expense
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You want their attention, even if it's only negative
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You feel like you want to fix them
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You want their love despite the abuse
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You feel like you can't leave
