9 Examples of Gaslighting in Relationships

In 1944 the American psychological-thriller film Gaslight was released to the public.

Based on a 1938 Patrick Hamilton play, it follows husband (Gregory) who manipulates his wife (Paula) into believing she is insane in a ploy to steal her inheritance.

It is from this film, that we get the term: GASLIGHTING.

GASLIGHTING is a form of PSYCHOLOGICAL MANIPULATION and EMOTIONAL ABUSE in which an abuser attempts to cause confusion by distorting reality in their victim’s mind by making them question their own memory, judgement, or intuition.

This is what gaslighting can look like in a relationship:

Examples of Gaslighting in a Relationship

• Denying the truth to make you question your own reality or recollection of events

• Minimizing or Dismissing your needs to sow self-doubt and make your needs seem unimportant.

• "Forgetting" things to invalidate your memory of an event.

• Accusing you of being paranoid or crazy to discredit you or your intuition

• Invalidating your emotions

• Minimizing their behavior to justify their actions.

• Blame shifting or diverting to deflect responsibility onto you or others

• Using other people to validate their claims about you or a situation.

• or just lying, amongst others.

  
  

Effects of Gaslighting

Gaslighting can make you feel:

• confused

• anxious

• self doubting

• depressed

• like you're going crazy

Signs you may be experiencing Gaslighting

You may be experiencing gaslighting if:

• You feel like you have to record, write down, or screenshot conversations in case your partner denies things they said later

• You feel confused, anxious, and crazy

• You are constantly second-guessing your own recollection of events

• You wonder if you’re “too sensitive”

• You feel like you’re always apologizing to your partner / that you can never do anything right

• You feel like something is wrong, but you don’t know what it is.

Remember YOU MATTER. If you or anyone you know is experiencing abuse, there is help.